Person Specification by Jonathan Taylor

Excellent poem by Jonathan Taylor.

I am not a silent poet

You will be a high achiever

who knows everyone else is not.

You will be the kind of person who leads

by accepting a new company Audi

on a morning you announce redundancies.

You should have wide experience

in eating previously healthy organisations

from within. In terms of qualifications

you will hold a grade A in Asset Stripping

and Parasitism.

You will have the skills necessary to tie

in knots of regulations anyone who needs

tying up. Deep down, you will believe

people rather like it. Leadership is bondage.

Remember, it’s all about those acronyms:

BDSM – Bondage, Domination, Sado-


You will enjoy making jokes about bondage

to your personal assistant, as well as

relevant sexist or racist or ageist

(delete as appropriate) comments

and will be an expert at clarifying afterwards

that any offence was the employee’s fault

for not having a sense of humour.

After all, tone…

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