(In 10 easy steps!)
- Fill the kettle with water in preparation.
- The second you hear the psychopath’s feet hit the bedroom floor, switch on the kettle.
- Place teabag in cup: DO NOT ADD SUGAR OR MILK AT THIS POINT.
- Silently will the kettle to boil faster.
- Put the spoon, sugar bowl and milk carton beside the cup. REMEMBER: you will have to act fast!
- Take deep breaths to ease your panic as you hear him cough, piss then start his decent down the staircase.
- As soon as the kettle clicks, pour boiling water onto the teabag, add two heaped teaspoons of sugar and a splash of milk.
REMEMBER: he must have his tea very strong or there will be repercussions.
TIP: Steady your hand as…
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